More than a phrase, a feeling

The gift of kindness, love and acceptance.  I cherish feeling this way.  I have been my own biggest barrier to achieving this level of happiness within myself.  

Deep down doesn’t every girl want to be told she’s beautiful?  Most of my life I have dreamed of being pretty.  I could easily see qualities about myself that were favorable; like my big heart- my playful nature- my generous spirit- my faith, but I never felt physically attractive or pretty.  I desperately wanted to feel validated physically.  

Over the last many years Allan has encouraged me to love myself for the most authentic reasons.  For the gifts that make me…me.  I used to scoff at this idea.  Who really cares if I’m fun, generous, and loyal…. Don’t all guys want a hot girlfriend?  

In time I have come to see the blessing of compliments that speak to who I am at my core.  This is true beauty.  This is the girl I strive to become, one who sees the whole package of gifts.  One whose smiles lights up the room.

The other night, I received a compliment from a loved one that was completely unexpected, and very much appreciated.

See, I was in a moment where I felt confident and good about myself.  I needed for nothing.  On this day the sun had made its warming presence, and my skin soaked it up.  I set boundaries to protect time for self-care but also had connections with my loved ones.  My cups felt full, I’m happy.  Deep down inside, I’m truly fulfilled.  

Then out of nowhere comes this comment.  It was simple, wholehearted and felt non-rehearsed.  

You are pretty

I carry with me a long list of reasons to refute this:

• My hair is messy
• My face looks fat
• I haven’t flossed my teeth
• I have a weird smile
• I have visible facial imperfections 

Typically, my head would repeat many thoughts from my list of imperfections that would disqualify me from what was said.  I would use my skills of invalidating the compliment - deflecting the attention or laughing at the idea of the truth behind it.  

How I responded not only caught me off guard, but it also helped me to see some growth in my skills.   

I received graciously!  I said “thank you”!

These words felt deeper than…”Hey you look great”… Despite my internal perception of flaws, after hearing these words I felt loved and accepted.  This one random comment left me feeling lifted, confident and proud of my growth.  

This got me thinking about the words I say.  How often might my words have a similar impact on someone else?  We never know what people are truly going through, or how messages are received.  I strive to be more intentional to pass on the message of love and acceptance I felt today. 

Thanks God for putting a win in this skill bucket! Thank you for allowing me to accept someone's gift of kindness to me.  Open my eyes to opportunities to pay this forward. 

Deep down every girl wants to feel pretty.