The anti-interrupter

As I was contemplating areas of communication in which I can grow and learn I found myself gravitating towards the struggle I have on how to handle people who interrupt me.  I think back on recent experiences when I had something I wanted to share and found myself being cut off of conversation.  I felt dumbfounded.  Literally without the words or actions to remedy my situation.

In the past I have tried things like...Hey, I wasn't done talking.  Or sorry, I haven't finished yet.  Wait...I am apologizing that my listener is interrupting my thought process?  Interesting.  Seems pretty passive.  As I reflect on moments when I have been redirected from my own interrupting, I recall saying to myself "dang, they are serious about this" or "what's their problem".  That's it!  That's the confidence I desire to exhibit in my own conversations.  The respect for myself that I communicate to my listener that I'm worthy of.  

I found a podcast called: The 3 step anti-interruupter by Dan O'Connor

This is a short audio of approx 30 minutes in which he explains what not to do, and more importantly...what TO DO.  He recommends practicing the catch phrases so that they easily slip off your tongue when the moment arises you need to use them.  

What not to do:

Excuse me, I haven't finished yet (sends an unconscious message that you will be a piece of cake to walk over)

Look away and say...hello

What to do:

Lean towards them, make direct eye contact.

Ensure your forehead is the closest thing to them. 

Use a universal stop gesture - let them know you’re not letting this by.  

Use the phrase:

I'm speaking...Keep speaking without stopping

• I’m still speaking
• I have not finished
• I do want to hear everything you want to say, but I want to finish my thoughts first.  

Steamroller-People who just won't stop talking.

To interrupt someone use their name over and over (3 times is the charm)

I was able to try this out on a friend of mine whom is known to interrupt.  My first time seeing her and within moments I found myself with an opportunity to use what I had learned.  

In this situation I was trying to explain something to her and she started over talking and she wouldn’t give me a chance to speak.  So, I didn’t know what to do except to keep repeating ‘are you listening?’  over and over.  While making eye contact and leaning in.  

And…. It worked.  She paused and said…‘yes.’  And she was listening.  

So how did it feel?  …easier than I had expected and pleasantly effective.  

This is a very helpful tool.